I got this idea in my head the other day and thought it was pretty amusing. We have all these “pictures” of old folks sitting around in bars or in nursery homes talking about the good ol’ days, and telling war stories and what not.
So what would the stories be if they were a bunch of the classic viruses and diseases that use to plague humanity…
By the door of the bar, SmallPox sits in a glass test tube that is corked at the top, nobody knows how he got there, but they feel glad that they still exist in the natural world. Occasionally Chicken pox makes funny faces at it, not realizing that a thin plastic has been slowly surrounding him.
The Bubonic Plague sits at a table by himself. Occasionally some Fox News Virus like West Nile will still listen to his stories about “If I’d been a little bit stronger, a little bit more hard on the clean ones, I could have done it, I could have wiped out more than a measly 75% of those humans…” But everyone’s heard it before, and they just don’t care for his showboating.
Measles keeps trying to tell anyone that will listen that he shouldn’t be in this place. He still kills lots of folks in the third world…
Nobody really understands what syphilis is trying to say, as he’s always talking crazy talk.
And then there’s the week famous Fox-News viruses. They’re still young and don’t come by much, they like to think they’re still going to be something big and hang out with Africanized Killer Bees on Escalators.
Okay, that’s all I can think of at the moment. If you come up with more, you should put them in the comments.
